


What Sin A Name

by soufflegirl91



Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [23]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Anon Prompt, Crack, Gen, probably not what the prompter intended but the author has no regrets, puns, terrible aliases
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25285612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: “Q?”“Yes, double oh seven?”“Do you think I’m a rich asshole?”
Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809892
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	What Sin A Name

**Author's Note:**

> For "volcano lair" on the Classic prompt table and the 2019 Fest anon prompt "“James Bond undercover with a fake name that is not a pun”
> 
> Posted for Classic Bond Day. Dialogue-only, just because I could. No beta

“Q?”

“Yes, double oh seven?”

“Do you think I’m a rich asshole?”

“Do I  _ what?!” _

“Do you think I’m a rich asshole?”

“No! Why would I? What on earth prompted that?”

“Have you even  _ seen  _ the alias on this passport?”

“What’s wrong with it?” 

“Q, have you  _ tried  _ reading it aloud?”

“Well, no. I don’t actually think up all your aliases myself, you know. I don’t know who was on the rota this time, but you could ask R? She manages the name rota, not me.”

“...you have a rota for- wait, no, not the point right now! You want to send me out on a mission to bloody  _ New Zealand  _ with the alias Richard Andrew Simon Shole.”

“Yes. And?”

“Rich. A. S. Shole. Rich  _ Asshole _ .” 

“Oh.”

“Yes,  _ oh! _ ”

“I’ll just… change that one then, shall I?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

“How about… hmmm, what have we got printed without any immigration flags… Chuck Unwin?”

“Chicken Wing? No thanks.”

“What? Oh. I really need to tell R to remind the name rota minions that we’re trying to be inconspicuous, not  _ ridiculous. _ Ah! Here we go. William Jones. Nice and ordinary.”

“Nice and bloody boring, you mean.”

“I’m sorry,  _ who _ just asked me to change their alias? You can have a pun or a bore, take your pick and stop whinging.”

“Ugh. Fine. William Jones it is, then. Why am I even going to New Zealand, anyway?”

“Ah. You didn’t read the briefing pack yet?”

“Didn’t have the chance yet. What is it you don’t want to tell me?”

“Well… you see… we have intel that a right-wing fascist terror group has forcibly taken over Tongariro National Park and is using Mount Ngauruhoe as a base of operations.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“What? No. Of course not.”

“Is it April the first?”

“..Bond it’s  _ November. _ And it’s really not that far-fetched.”

“Not far fetched? Neo-Nazis have taken over  _ Mount Doom _ and are using a  _ volcano _ as their  _ villainous lair _ . Next, you’ll be telling me they’re calling themselves Eye of Sauron.”

“...Well, now that you mention it.”


End file.
